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Because times change, the specific expectations young men and women have when they date and enter, perhaps, into a more formal courtship are not the same now as they were in the past and as they are, still, in other areas of the world.

These are some of the current, usually unspoken, rules. Right from the beginning of a relationship, both men and women are expected to be truthful (more or less.) It is definitely wrong on a dating site bio to lie about marital status, for instance.

That is everyone’s experience at one time or another.

But the story made me stop and think about just what constituted “proper treatment” throughout dating.

and my husband’s breathing has become long and even. I slip my right hand down my pajama pants and move slowly, careful not to bump my elbow into his side rib, or bring my hips into it. I’ve been called “insatiable” and “demanding” one too many times. Yes, I have an incredibly high sex drive, but even in relationships where I have great sex multiple times a week my nighttime stealth for self-pleasure has persisted.

Too much movement or sound will wake him, and to be found out for something like this is not just embarrassing but potentially destructive. Even worse, maybe he’ll finally say the words I’ve been waiting for him to say since I first told him that I am a sex addict. My college boyfriend, burgundy haired and tattooed, had the high sex drive typical of most nineteen-year-old males.

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He may even blurt out, "I've never felt this way before and I can see spending the rest of my life with you." This may sound like a commitment to a future with you. Don't confuse his loving the way you make him feel with his loving you and making a commitment to you. Cheating on his wife tells you how he deals with any situation he doesn't like.

One afternoon, after he’d fallen into a deep post-sex slumber, I serviced myself with my second, third, and fourth orgasm beside him.

That was the first time I’d experienced such a level of both secrecy and shame.

A recent dinner with a past acquaintance has brought me to a place where I now know a conversation on why-I-even-dressed-up-for-a-dinner-with-a-man-I-had-no-idea-was-married-until-we-were-well-into-dessert is very much needed.

I am a 40-something single woman interested in dating single, heterosexual men yet lately I seem to meet more than the usual of those who are Dating While Married (DWM).

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